Lessons I’ve Learned from Pregnancy – Part One

  1. When you have a baby, you can’t worry about everyone else so much. I’ve always been the kind of person who worries…about everything and everyone. The more I love you, the more I’m going to worry about you. I’m aware that this drives people crazy, it drives me crazy sometimes too! During pregnancy, I’ve found myself doing my normal worrying plus some. If someone is running late, I imagine them in a car accident. If someone drinks too much, I’m up all night worrying about how they will feel in the morning or if they tried to drive or if they did anything they will regret. If someone cries, I worry about what is causing them to feel sad and what I could’ve done to help. When my cat throws up (which she’s been doing a lot because she’s sick) I worry that she is miserable or I’m not doing enough to help or I’m going to find her dead in my closet. When my brother borrows my dad’s chainsaw, I find myself worrying about him shredding his leg into a hundred pieces. When Matt is tired from work and then agrees to help my parents with a project over the weekend, I find myself worrying about him doing too much. Some of the worries are my own…like, did I eat too much sugar today or does one cup of coffee a day really affect my baby or did I say something too snarky to my mom or is the baby kicking enough or am I doing enough for myself and the people I love etc. But, whirling around in my head with my own worries, are a lot of worries that don’t belong to me. I’ve been sort of plagued by all these worries. If I’m being honest, I think I do this as a defense mechanism to shield myself from pain…like, if I imagine the worst case scenario, then I’ll be more prepared for the worst and it won’t hurt as much if it happens (which, btw, is total bullshit. It still hurts just as much when something bad happens). Anyway, I just keep thinking, “There must be some lesson here. There must be something I’m supposed to learn from all this worrying”. And I think I’ve figured out that the lesson in all of the worrying is this: I can’t worry about worries that don’t belong to me… because I need that space to worry about myself and my baby. I need to let adults worry about themselves, or not worry about themselves if that’s what they want to do, and I need to be OK with that. Because their worries aren’t mine. And I have the most important job of my life beginning soon…I’m gonna be a mom. As a mom, I need to worry about my baby and make sure my baby is doing OK and help my baby learn what it’s like to be in this world. My baby’s worries belong to me; they should be my main concern, my key priority.

One thought on “Lessons I’ve Learned from Pregnancy – Part One

  1. Ginger-This is an amazing time in your life! I admire your introspection and the “lessons” you are willing to learn. I have fond memories of when I was younger and started figuring things out. It was energizing! Love you dearly! 💚Mom

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