The Truth Behind my Instagram Beach Pic

Remember the beach photo I posted last week of me in a bikini? You probably don’t because to you it was just a picture. But to me, it was a lot more than a picture! Here’s why: I’ve never, ever posted a picture of myself in a bathing suit. In fact, bathing suits have been my arch nemesis for most of my life. I’ve been uncomfortable in my own skin since before I knew what skin was. Honestly, I have vivid memories of self-hatred and regret about eating too much watermelon whilst wearing a bathing suit back when I was 5 years old. And many other memories from all different ages where I’m in my cover-up sitting in a shady corner of the pool or the beach, petrified that someone might notice how big my thighs are. But, recently, I’ve been attempting to ignore the insulting bitch in my head who tells me I can’t wear a bathing suit. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still there. And she still has quite a few offensive opinions about my body, but I’m choosing to tell her, “thanks for coming by, please leave now.” Because, who is SHE to tell me I can’t walk on the beach, bask in the sun, splash in the water and laugh with my friends on a sunny summer day? Cellulite isn’t a crime! Posting that photo last week was tough, I took about 100 shots of the same photo and got creative with the cropping and filtering just to be able to have the balls to post it (please see a screen shot of my camera roll below for proof). But, I’m so glad I posted it! Because it was a huge step for me. A step towards taking the power back and being nice to myself and saying, “girl, you look as good as you can right now and that is good enough for me.” And I’m telling you this, dear women of the Internet, because I encourage you to do the same thing. Take that beautiful body of yours out for a spin on the beach! Post photos! I think you look great, even if the voice in your head says you’re too tall/short/fat/skinny/old/young/pale/tan/bloated/chubby/flat-chested/freckled/scarred/etc. I think the voice in your head should take a longggggg nap (maybe in the sun, maybe without sunscreen on) and let you have some fun!

beachy

7 thoughts on “The Truth Behind my Instagram Beach Pic

  1. Great pic and wise words on the state of woman’s affairs at this time. You’re courageous to speak to what is going on in all of our heads as we’ve been conditioned to think that way. Ridiculous and impossible role models on what beauty is in our culture. You’ve always been a looker and yet the old commercialized image of beauty worked to keep you feeling bad about that gorgeous body of yours. Crazy!!! Nothing like breaking free of negative dialogue that gets in the way of you having a full and wonderful life!!

    The other part to this dilemma is that we now have better role models of woman in the media today that are gorgeous, just not in the old school Image of beauty, strutting their bodies and not giving a crap about what anyone else thinks!! You got to love them for stepping up.

    Mimi

  2. Thank you for sharing (glad I’m not alone)! Short/Tall/Skinny/Fat, we’ve all felt that little voice of self-doubt(as well as the annoying voice of others)… and felt the insult of someone saying, “But you are THIS, so you should NOT feel like THAT”– that my friend is the moment you say “Go pound sand.” and feel good about it!
    I really appreciate your post!
    <3

  3. John forwarded me a link to your blog because he thought I would connect with this and I’m so happy he did! It takes so much bravery to write what you wrote and post not only your picture but your camera roll! Serious kudos to you, and thank you for speaking out. I don’t know if there’s a single woman on this planet that doesn’t relate to this on some level. I know I certainly do, so thank you. 🙂

    Noelani

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